Finding Your Leadership Style as a Lawyer (And Why It Matters More Than You Think)
There’s a reason Frank Sinatra’s “I Did It My Way” still resonates with so many people.
I was reminded of that recently at my brother’s 60th birthday at the Broadbeach Bowls Club. One of his friends stood up to sing it, no stage, no spotlight, just a microphone and a room full of people. By the end, I had tears in my eyes. (And it wasn't just the champagne!)
Why? This song reminds us that at our core, there is something deeply human about wanting to be ourselves: to live, and lead, in a way that feels true. And yet, in leadership, particularly in the legal profession, this is often the very thing people lose.
The Identity Shift From Lawyer to Leader
As a lawyer, your identity is built over years. It's grounded in expertise, precision, and control. You're trained to analyse, to give advice, and to deliver results (and bill!) There's a clear structure to what success looks like.
Leadership, however, asks something fundamentally different.
It's no longer just about WHAT you know. It becomes about HOW you show up: how you influence, how you communicate, and how you guide others, often through ambiguity and pressure. This transition is where many lawyers begin to feel unsettled, even if they don’t openly articulate it.
Stepping into leadership is not simply a promotion. It's an identity shift. And with that shift comes a new, often unspoken question: who am I as a leader? (Eek!!)
The Trap: Trying To Lead Like Someone Else
In the absence of a clear answer to the "who am I" question , many lawyers default to imitation. They look to senior partners, former mentors, or widely accepted ideas of what a “good leader” should look like, and they attempt to replicate it.
The challenge is that it rarely fits.
What works for one leader does not automatically translate to another. Leadership is not a one-size-fits-all model, and when it is approached that way, it often feels forced. Over time, this creates disconnection, not only for the leader themselves, but also for the people they are trying to lead.
People are remarkably perceptive. They can sense when a leader is performing a version of leadership, rather than embodying it. I call it the 'B.S.' meter.
What the Research Tells Us About Leadership Styles
This is where the research becomes particularly useful. Daniel Goleman’s work on leadership identifies six distinct leadership styles: coercive, authoritative, affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and coaching.
Each of these styles has its place. Each brings strengths, and each carries limitations. No single style is universally effective, and none is inherently “better” than another in all circumstances.
What distinguishes effective leaders is not that they adopt one perfect style, but that they develop the awareness and capability to move between styles when required. They understand their natural tendencies, and they lead with intention rather than imitation.
What I Saw at the Partners’ Table
I saw this play out very clearly when I was sitting around the partners’ table at our law firm.
We were a group of lawyers who were fundamentally different from one another. We brought different personalities, different strengths, and different approaches to leadership. And yet, there was a strong sense of alignment. (And fun and play!)
We were aligned in our vision and values for the firm but we didn't try to lead in the same way.
Some partners led through relationships, placing a strong emphasis on people and culture. Others were more strategic, focused on direction, structure, and long-term planning. Others again brought pace, energy, and a drive for execution.
No one approach was superior. In fact, it was the combination of these differences that made us effective as a leadership group. Our diversity in style became a strength, not a weakness.
Leadership Is Not About Fitting a Mould
Too often, lawyers assume that stepping into leadership requires them to become a different version of themselves: more authoritative, more extroverted, or more aligned with a particular stereotype of leadership.
But the leaders who I work with who build genuine trust, are not those who conform most closely to a mould. They're the ones who are clear, consistent, and authentic in how they show up.
Authenticity in leadership is not about being unfiltered or unstructured. It's about being grounded: knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how you lead best.
How To Find Your Leadership Style
Developing your leadership identity begins with a deeper level of self-awareness.
It starts with understanding your why. Why do you want to lead, beyond the title or the progression? What is the underlying motivation that draws you to leadership?
It also requires clarity around your values. Your values shape how you make decisions, how you respond under pressure, and how others experience you as a leader. When you are anchored in your values, your leadership becomes more consistent and more trustworthy.
Finally, it involves recognising your natural style, your default way of communicating, connecting, and influencing. This is your foundation. It is where your leadership feels most natural and where you are most effective.
Flexibility Matters But So Does Authenticity
Of course, strong leaders are not rigid. They are adaptable. They read situations, they respond to context, and they adjust their approach when needed.
However, adaptability should not come at the expense of authenticity.
The most effective leaders spend the majority of their time leading from their natural style, and then flex around it when the situation calls for something different. They do not abandon who they are; they expand how they lead.
My Final Thought for You
You don't need to replicate someone else’s approach, and you don't need to fit a predefined mould. The real work of leadership is not about becoming someone different, but about becoming more intentional in who you already are.
The leaders who have the greatest impact are those who can stand confidently in their role, aligned in their values and clear in their identity, and can say:
I did it my way!